This is the place where you can personalize your profile!
But, how?
By moving, adding and personalizing widgets.
You can drag and drop to rearrange.
You can edit widgets to customize them.
The left side has widgets you can add!
Some widgets you can only access when you get a premium membership.
Some widgets have options that are only available when you get a premium membership.
We've split the page into zones!
Certain widgets can only be added to certain zones.
"Why," you ask? Because we want profile pages to have freedom of customization, but also to have some consistency. This way, when anyone visits a deviant, they know they can always find the art in the top left, and personal info in the top right.
Don't forget, restraints can bring out the creativity in you!
Now go forth and astound us all with your devious profiles!
A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and
kicks abottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned. The Genie says," Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."
The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."
The Genie grants him his wish.
When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it.
He looks at the glass and it's clear ..looks like tequila. Then
smells the liquid ... smells like tequila. So he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo,
come quickly!" She comes running down the hall, and the
Mexican
takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her
to
drink it. It is tequila.
Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best
tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night.
The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife
to
get two glasses out of the
cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two glasses. The
result is the same. The tequila is excellent, and the couple drinks
until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home from work and
tells his wife, "Consuelo, grab one glass from the cupboard and we
willdrink Tequila."
His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.
The Mexican begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife
asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?"
Pancho raises the glass and says, "BECAUSE TONIGHT, MI AMOR, YOU
DRINK
FROM THE BOTTLE."
ARRIBA!!!!!!! ARRIBA!!!!!!!!!!
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his
eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such
innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to
see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking
at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she
asked."They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on
top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the
other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he
replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of that gay
shit in our garden," she said.
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im watching you
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watch things come to life...
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kicks abottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned. The Genie says," Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."
The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."
The Genie grants him his wish.
When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it.
He looks at the glass and it's clear ..looks like tequila. Then
smells the liquid ... smells like tequila. So he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.
The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo,
come quickly!" She comes running down the hall, and the
Mexican
takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her
to
drink it. It is tequila.
Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best
tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night.
The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife
to
get two glasses out of the
cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two glasses. The
result is the same. The tequila is excellent, and the couple drinks
until the sun comes up.
Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home from work and
tells his wife, "Consuelo, grab one glass from the cupboard and we
willdrink Tequila."
His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table.
The Mexican begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife
asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?"
Pancho raises the glass and says, "BECAUSE TONIGHT, MI AMOR, YOU
DRINK
FROM THE BOTTLE."
ARRIBA!!!!!!! ARRIBA!!!!!!!!!!
reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his
eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such
innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to
see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking
at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she
asked."They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on
top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the
other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he
replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of that gay
shit in our garden," she said.
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